Matching is not a filter on age and postcode. Here is what the process actually weighs, why it runs after registration closes rather than as applications arrive, and what a coordinator does that no formula can.
What the system weighs #
Every possible pair at an event is scored on seven criteria. Each criterion produces a score, and the criteria carry different weights - so a strong match on practice counts for more than a strong match on profession.
- Age - weighted 20
- Level of practice - weighted 20
- Location - weighted 15
- Views on children - weighted 15
- Education - weighted 10
- Profession - weighted 10
- Ethnicity, where stated - weighted 10
A pair is only ever considered where both people could be a match for each other. Agreement in one direction is not enough: someone who fits your stated preferences but for whom you fall outside theirs scores low, because a one-sided match wastes both evenings.
Why it waits for the full list #
Registration closes ahead of the event, and nothing is matched until it does. The reason is arithmetic rather than administrative: if applications were decided as they arrived, the people who applied first would be matched against a small pool and the people who applied last against a large one. Everyone would be treated by a different standard depending on when they happened to open the page.
Once the list is complete, every pair is scored against the same field. That is also why the answer takes three to five days rather than arriving by return.
Where a person overrules the score #
A score is a starting point for a conversation, not a decision. Coordinators look at things the criteria cannot express:
- What someone wrote in their own words. The free-text box is read. It is often where the real requirement is.
- Whether the answers hang together. An application that contradicts itself gets a second look.
- Family expectations that would make an otherwise strong match unworkable.
- The balance of the room. Places are limited and both sides have to work out - which is why a good application is sometimes held for the next event rather than refused.
The thing people most often get wrong
Stating preferences so narrow that almost nobody satisfies them, then concluding the process does not work. A tight age band, one ethnicity, one profession and one city will produce very few pairs at any event of any size. The preferences that help are the ones you would actually refuse over.
After the matching #
Everyone hears within three to five days of registration closing. Those with a place are sent the details and asked to confirm. The rest are welcome at the next event - and places going to a different balance of people is the usual reason, not a judgement on the application. The whole sequence, from the form to the night itself, is set out on the about page.
